Friday, January 21, 2011
inside the diner the tension grew
inside the diner the people are quiet. the waitresses are dressed in a sort of light blueish smock reminiscent of hospital garb. and the whole place looks oddly sanitized. the people sit in comfort as they slowly talk below there breath. as i continue to stand there for a moment of fleeting confusion. a young girl greets us in a soft subtle voice as if avoiding to wake the dead. she stands in a upright and most proper matter. her hair a sunned down blonde. tied back and with a pair of glasses that appear to be a extension of her face. she points out a booth to the back and to the right. and as i look over the menu i order the breakfast special. as the young lady hovers over us glaring down with a glowing dispositon. i face my way across the table and crack a smile. and i can still remember her when she's young. the older she gets though the seemingly more youthful she becomes. an i find myself just then in a state of almost none existence. my mouth won't open and the words glimmer and fade before they fall out of me in mid air. the feeling begins to dim slowly as i start to ask her how she became to get herself in here. she begins to tell me that after i left the problems i had continued to worsen. as if some bubble had burst and the devil had took housing somewhere inside me. ''you always had that quality about you that made everything just kind of wash away. as if all my trouble s had not been there to begin with. '' i sat there, as the flood gates opened and all the memories past came rolling in with the piled up mounds with disease called guilt. and i had no idea, i made things this way. and again she began to speak. '' i don't blame you though.'' '' it would have came boiling up no matter if you where there or not''. i looked at here trying my best to bring my voice up and over my chest. '' i had no idea. it's all my fault then''. '' i am so sorry. for i have regretted that day every since''. everyday afterwards the thought of you would gather up inside me, trying to spew out as i tended to lock them away''. she looked at me sweet eyed and tired. '' really, believe me when i say it's not your fault''. '' you know the childhood i had, i have never blamed you and i never will''. now please lets forget this drab talk, i want to hear more about you''.and so i began. i told her about my marriage, how it had ended, and my life afterward up until this point. omitting the things i thought to early. and so on and so forth. our food showed and the morning went and turned into the rest of the day right in front of us outside or window. we talked about nonsense and times past. but even then all through the day my conscience still bugged me about the reason i came here in the first place. as my nerves where racked. and my mind fogged.