Friday, April 18, 2014

Experimental pt.4/ Her lips almost appear as if in a flirtatious dance, like two lovers in the midst of passion.

    The brush still sparkles from last nights rain, while the slight opening upon the canvas above the road allows a chaotic freckling of light stream through. An with Jules at the wheel, Alice sits with her feet upon the dash, while music pulsates from the radio like an oscillating neutron star. Salmon arm has always been a undiscovered jewel in the middle of the Amazon. Like a lost city uniquely known by the locals, but completely lost under certain standards from the outside world. Just driving there seems as though one is trekking through an endless forest, that only gives the impression of going in circles, like the lost woods in the Legend of Zelda.  Once you reach the city, the forest opens up to an endless array of small buildings, houses, an other such artificial objects. You can almost see the forest break apart into small groups like a military faction guarding a combine of some sort, as the trees are now sporadically placed throughout town in a carefully planned design, as if to further disintegrate the artificial nature of the city itself. Once you begin the descent in, the silence breaks off into a confusing attire of random noise;  screeching tires, the endless sounds of speech, or even the roar of the river as it races past, like a b-line bus that shoots past all other stops. The air though is thick, sweet, like a forest right after it rains. You can smell the distinct aroma of cedar, an sap, coupled with the cool breeze that brushes off of the water at the edge of town. On the whole way down, Jules has all but failed to think of none other than recent events, as it has permeated every grain of her psyche, an no manner of struggling will allow otherwise, like trying to break a chain with ones own hand. Even the music, that sounds as though it oozes off the radio like fog rolling down the side of a hill, is of no solace, as each song reminds her in some way of either Daniel himself, or the circumstances that has lead her to this very spot. But on that drive, as the wind rustles her hair ever so gently, she has realized one thing, a glimmer of hope perhaps, or maybe to be more precise, a sliver of reality. Its an idea so simple, she fails to grasp the reasons behind her not fully understanding it prior to these events, as it suddenly dawns on her, as though a crack has formed upon an otherwise darkened room, letting a small fracture of light in. An at that moment, like being gently slapped upon the forehead, that the last conversation she an Daniel had comes at once rushing back. She now knows, that no manner of explaining on her behalf will undoubtedly change Daniels mind, that is something that he has got to do on his own,
   "Is everything okay, you've been oddly silent?"
"Yeah everything is fine. Actually.. I was thinking about the conversation we had the other day, about what you said of you an Steve."
"Oh! About how much an idiot he can be at times."
"Well not exactly!" She laughs." Just how no matter what, you let him be, the bad for the good right."
"Well I realized, that there is just no changing people, that is something everyone has to figure out on their own."
"Yeah.. that just got me thinking, you know."
"That maybe you can actually let loose, an have a little fun tonight." She smiles, slouching over unto the passenger seat, with her legs clenched together as if making a fist. Her hair seems to effortlessly drape over the nape of her neck, as well as her shoulders, like the falling rain, or a waterfall cascading over the side of a cliff, as if it was made out of silk, or satin. You can see the slight glints of sunlight as it traces down her all but blackened hair, making it seem as if the light itself is emanating from her very being. The collar of her blouse, modestly dancing in the trifling of wind, seems to be waving, as if in a flirtatious spirit. Jules has never been as slender, or frail as Alice, but is an object of quiet beauty no less. Her hair is short, barely touching the brim of her shoulders, an is of a light brown color, like the muted sunlight passing through the curtains on the window. Her skin, is pale, white, as newly fallen snow on a cloudy day. Her lips, humbly quivering in the slight cold of the wind, are imperceptibly pursed, as if to be skirted on the edges of laughter.
"So where exactly is this place anyhow? its not some bar I hope."
"No no, nothing like that. Its at this woman's house, one in which I don't know the name of."
"Don't know the name, how could you not know her name, we are heading over to her house you know."
"I know, I know, its not that I don't know it.. technically speaking, its just that I can't remember it."
"Well do we actually know this person?"
"No I have never heard of her before, must not have been part of our circle I guess."
"Is Daniel going to be there." Jules cautiously asks.
"No your fine, apparently he declined the offer."
"Well isn't that a stroke of good luck."
"Yeah.. you can call it that."
   The sun is now peaking over the backdrop of the mountains, which gives the outlines of the sky a golden hue, which seem to trail down the sides of said mountains an onto the outlaying plains that lay just on the cusp of town. There is one part of town that slopes downward towards the river, which is mostly made up of shops an services of relative kin. At the bottom is a small row of houses, after that, on the other side of the street, lies a type of makeshift fence, with certain sections already toppled over now covered with the tall grass that grows underneath it. At the end of said road, lies a tall green house, that is taller than it is wide. The garage is like the mouth of a whale opening up to catch its prey. An on the right hand side the earth rises up as though trying to slowly suffocate the house itself, an after that, once more, lies the fence. Only this section appears tall, fertile, like a bouncer at the local clubs. Out front a row of cars surrounds the place as if in the middle of a police raid. An as Alice knocks upon the front door, producing a low thud, as if hollow, they are welcomed by a woman they haven't had the pleasure to meet as of yet. She is tall, lanky, well endowed, an the long white dress she sports flows freely upon her legs getting ever slimmer the closer it gets to her ample bosom. She greets them both with a hollow gesture, while quickly making her way up the stairs to the main floor. As Alice walks up behind, she gently nudges Jules, whispering to her the very fact of how she resembles that of a plastic doll, while Jules gives of a faint chuckle, like the rushing of air slowly exasperating out of deflated balloon. On top of the stairs the house opens up unto the main floor, with the living room taking up most the area. The kitchen sits on the far left, with a single wall blocking the way, that in turn has a large window carved out with bar stools laying in wait. There are two couches perpendicular to each other, that sit on the wall that cuts the stairs off from the rest of the room. The two couches are of an off white, like an eggshell, or a thin line of clouds that cover the sky on an overcast day. A long wooden table stands before them, covered in glasses an trays, that are they themselves covered in various assortments of food and drinks. The place is full, an you can hear the sounds of various conversations pop in an out like particles in the ether. Suddenly out of the crowd, like a rhino charging through the thick bush, comes Eliza, greeting us with open arms.
"Alice, Jules.. I am so happy you two came, welcome. How was the drive up?"
"Not so bad, the weather was with us the whole way, which was good."
"Do you two want a beer or anything, something to eat maybe?"
"A beer would be good, thanks.." Jules says in a soft tone. Following Eliza into the kitchen proves to be somewhat difficult, like forging a trail through the thick bush of the Amazon. The house is a fair size, but the crowd still seems to push up against each wall, spilling out into every other room in the house. In the kitchen there is a large light colored wooden table, with a variety of chairs encircling it. An upon each chair a crowd of people sit as if fighting over each one. After grabbing a beer, they lean onto the counters at the end of the kitchen, which at this point is one of the few safe havens in the room, an as they clink their glasses together, Eliza goes on to ask.
"So.. how is Daniel doing lately, I am surprised he declined the invite."
"Oh! We aren't together anymore".
"Well that is too bad, I always liked him".
"Yeah well.. we just couldn't make it work, you know how things are sometimes."
"I guess some things just are not meant to be."
   Outside the rain has started to fall, an the slight tapping against the front window is barely audible over the overbearing thump of the dance music that encompasses the house. Looking around the room, seeing all the people they went to school with, brings back all the memories of high-school, as all significant events, an otherwise, flash before her at every moment an old face shows itself from the crowded darkness. Jules has always looked back with nothing but mostly fond memories, hanging out with friends, partying it up each weekend, or just studying in the school library. But now, as she sees all these faces she once knew, a different feeling begins to come over her, sadness, a sense of despair perhaps. Its as if a cloud has resided over her memories of said events, an now, as if suddenly, the sky has cleared, an she can at once see the blue of the sky for the first time. But as things start pouring in, Jules begins to question the validity of any given event, as we well know the power of the mind to change things at will, an oversimplification, but true nonetheless. How after all this could one remember such things, that are not exactly far off, in a different perspective than originally happened. It is not that things didn't progress the way she believes they did, its more the fact of if she was wanted, or needed if you will at certain intervals, or more of a background noise to everyone else she thought were good friends. Maybe after all this time, Jules realizes that it wasn't her that was the popular one, that in fact it was Alice all along, an she was more of the basic plus one to all the fun that was being had at any given time or place. Like ancient protozoa branching off into two distinct evolutionary tracks, one could always quite possibly have an advantage over the other.
  "Do you know any of these people, I don't recognize most of them." Jules tells her, while trying to break through the noise.
"Not everyone, but I know most."
"Do you still talk to them at all."
"Yeah of course, in one form or the other, why do you ask?"
"Its just that I don't really know many of them, I am starting to think I wasn't as popular as I first believed."
"Its not the quantity Jules, just the quality."
"Yeah I guess, but I still wished I knew a few more people here, even if to be a Tad less awkward."
  Making their way downstairs, they find a more relaxing of atmospheres, an ebb an flow if you will from one floor to the next. There is a large red couch planted in the middle, with a small wooden table in front, an a hand full of chairs throughout in an disorderly fashion. But everyone talks in such a demeanor, as if being organized from some outside source, as to take turns as to make there opinions more accessible. There appears to be at least three factions of people crowded together to make their own group, but even then you could still quite easily distinguish one conversation from the next. Its as though they act as particle's being cooled down to freezing temperatures, an there for rubbing off our chaotic nature.  Seeing that there are less bodies, Jules can at once can finally make out a few faces she recognizes from school. As Alice an Jules take a seat across from the couch the first person to chime in is Susan. They first met each other in gym class, on a rainy summer day playing soccer in the field out back. They were on opposing teams, Jules the left wing and Susan the defence. It was about mid game, an the first half was all but done. Jill, a center field man that sits upon the couch before her , was running down field on the far right, an right before being tackled she passed over to Jules, which only served to allow her to slip on the wet grass. This is technically how they first met, as Susan had the same idea, an they drove into each other with such force that the gym teacher took them out for the remainder of the game. Sitting on the sidelines, with a small but inefficient wood ceiling that shielded them from the torrent of rain, minus a few drops that happened to find their way through the cracks. They started to talk, at first asking each other if they are okay, an after they mentioned a few bruises, a slight headache, an a heightened effect of embarrassment, they started their journey to becoming friends.
   Susan has always been the athletic type, like an Olympic speed skater, so she never had any problems with the male part of the species, which is how they ran into problems later on. It was about a year into Jules an Daniels relationship, during gym class at the end of the day. Daniel was in the locker room getting ready to go, an being the only one around meant he had no worries about the other boys attitude towards such childish aggression. The locker room was set up like any other, row upon row of lockers set against another row of benches that spread each apart in a perfect harmony. As Daniel stood there, staring into his locker picking through his belongings, he began to feel a presence standing before him, an as he quickly turned around to ascertain the situation, he found Susan standing there, leaving hardly a breath between them.
"Susan!" Daniel calls out." You scared me a bit, didn't hear you come in."
"Well I wanted to surprise you." She says, pushing her body before his." Aren't you.. surprised?" As Susan stands there, with a slightly unbuttoned white shirt precariously giving Daniel the impression of what lies beneath. She raises her hands upon the cold metal of the lockers, as the warmth of her moist lips begin to graze his own. An Daniel,  unable to move, as if in a trance, begins to hear a ghostly voice off in the distance, as if emanating from his very consciousness.
"What are you kids doing!" The voice echoes." Class is over, that is your cue to leave!"
  It just so happened that this particular piece of news didn't find its way around school, as the gym teacher, Mr. Roth, wasn't one for schoolboy gossip. But Susan was embarrassed by her actions nonetheless. An so being, was the last time she tried anything so daring.

Friday, April 04, 2014

Experimental pt.3/The rising tides, and the receding waters

   The florescent lights rain down upon the tiled floors, giving the store an off putting glow. While the shelves that seem to crumble upon a single touch have a faded lacquered sheen to them. Being one of the few grocers in the immediate area, one does not tend to complain to much, as the other more corporate ones a bit farther out have prices that seem to cater to a whole other demographic of customers. Its about 12 o'clock in the afternoon, an Jules an her mom roam the aisles in search of something to make for tonight. Its been about a week since Jules an Daniel last talked, an even now she can't help but hope that things will work out between them, even though she is not quite sure how exactly to go about making such things happen. If only he could see things from her eyes, from her perspective, than an only than could Daniel understand her current plight, why she did what she did. But how to go about achieving that is a mystery unto itself, one that Jules is unable to solve. Jules keeps going through the events of that uncertain night, systematically breaking it up piece by piece,  eventually putting it all back together like a puzzle, in the hopes of understanding what exactly happened, an why she did what she did. How is she supposed to make him understand if she doesn't understand herself. Every moment away from him now seems to be a test of her will, of her patience, as she never fully understood how much she loved him until she closed that door on that fateful day, like the crashing of waves on an empty beach whenever the tides come in.
"Honey, is everything okay, you've been awfully quiet?"
"Yeah, everything is fine."
"You're not still thinking of Daniel are you, you need to give these things time."
"I know, its just i wish I would have realized earlier, you know, before I was such an idiot."
"Oh Jules! Your not an idiot, you made a mistake. Everyone does, its not the worst thing to realize you aren't perfect you
I know, to bad Daniel doesn't see things the same way."
"He will, he will, these things just take time, that's all, just time."
"Yeah I guess so, I guess so."
"So than." She says." Onto bigger an better things, what do you want tonight? Spaghetti or chicken?"
"Spaghetti sounds good actually, haven't had it in a while."
"Than spaghetti it is my dear, spaghetti it is."
  Outside the rain has begun to fall with an intemperate ferocity. An as they drive back home, Jules watches the world go by, the trees slowly fading away into rooftops, an houses that seemed to pop up like daisies at the start of spring. She couldn't remember when the last  time it rained like this, like the coming flood on the bows of Noah's Ark. Its seems endless, all encompassing, like the rising tides slowly washing up an over the beach. She slightly smirks at all the people running for cover at every drop, as if acidic. As though the mere thought of rain induces a trance of chaos into the minds of the people. Its a beautiful site, watching the rain fall, it seems to purge the city streets from all that once remained. Jules has always felt as though it had a calming effect, like the sounds of white noise one listens to to help get asleep. Which in turn makes her realize that things aren't so bad as they may seem, that any problem that may arise has at most, a most probable fix, an most seemingly an easy one at that. One must always wonder why people have such an adverse effect upon rain, as though the gods pour down their wrath unto the land, or an angry parent raising its hands onto an unsuspecting child. Even the thunder an lightning, that has found its way onto the ash colored clouds, brings with it such an unforgiving fright. One that is unseen, unheard, unknowing. But man has always been afraid of what they cannot control, always struggled towards the effects of nature, maybe that is why they are so effective at destroying it.
   Later that day, while her mom stands about the kitchen preparing dinner, Jules sits upstairs by her bedroom window, that looks over that grass an the ever creeping river that only stands to get ever closer to the edge of its banks. Trying to keep her mind off of such current ordeals, has proven more difficult than previously thought, as there is no break in the conversation to bring up other talking points. Even the book in her hands, which would normally bring about such other ideas, proves no condolence at this time. The more that she ends up crawling over such things, the more she realizes that it is not just the mere fact that it is over, but as well the way she decided to end it. Her actions appeared to be beyond her very reach, as if it was somehow out of her control. As well as the thunder, that gives the steady stream of rain a bass like sound, like the pounding drums of such yearly festivities, Jules can begin to hear a faint ringing that seems to emanate from downstairs in the living room. She waits eagerly, listening in to see if her mom would answer, but after about three or four rings she hurries downstairs to pick it up herself.
"Hello! This is Jules." She answers.
"Jules! Its me, Alice, I was just wondering if you wanted to get together tomorrow, supposed to be a beautiful day."
"Yea sure, did you have anything in mind."
"Well I was wondering if you wanted to climb the chief, haven't done it for awhile, thought you might be up for it."
"The chief huh! Yeah.. sounds fun, I am up for that."
"Well I will come over around ten than if that's alright?"
"No that's perfect, see you than."
   Jules an Daniel have been together for quite some time, despite there age. But things between them have started to break down, like an old rusted car sitting out in the rain. The honeymoon was over, an that new car smell of their relationship has begun to fade. But since neither of them have ever been in a true relationship before, either was sure on how exactly to proceed. The one thing she realized from this experience, was the fact that no matter how perfect two people may be for each other, sooner or later cracks begin to form, an if you don't fix them in a timely manner, the whole house will eventually come down. Its like the pictures you see of gas clusters an nebula's, from afar they are near perfect forms of appearance an design, but the closer you get the more they fade, an once inside they tend to disappear completely. Such was her relationship, now that it is gone, she understands exactly what needed to be done, but as it was, she was all but oblivious to those facts.
   At the base of the mountain lies a small hollowed out area covered in gravel, with only a handful of cars variegated throughout. You can still see the effects of last nights rain, as small puddles have formed in the most unsuitable of spots. Which as well give the trees an oncoming grass a gloss like sheen to it all. The sky is fairly clear, with a few clouds still hanging around from last nights fall, like a handful of people refusing to leave the party after everyone went home. An most probable, from yesterdays rain, the trail up is mostly clear of the usual crowds that emanate from every corner of the forest, as though sprouting up like the very brush that covers the floor. The way up is basically a slight clearing rather than an actual trail, a few signs throughout show the way, which in turn are they themselves covered over in a variety of bushes, branches an other such timid wildlife. About halfway up a huge rock juts out of the ground like a disembodied hand reaching out for life. On one side of the rock lays a small cave, or more clearly a kind of cubbyhole that could possible contain two or more people if that. Usually when Jules an Alice make their way up they find a group huddled inside, with a unlucky few possibly standing outside to bear the elements. But seeing that the day is quite clear there are no people to know of, no huddled masses, or few out of breath taking a slight rest to gain composure.
   Jules an Alice have been friends for quite some time, as they met up in middle school when they were young, it was one of those chance meetings that happen every so often, as every time Jules turned around it seemed as though Alice was right there in the mix of things, not in a creepy way, just the fact that she seemed to stand out from all others. They finally exchanged words in history class, with an assignment that had them corrugated into groups of two. An it just so happened that they were the last two to be put together. Jules remembers quite vividly the fact that it was as if she was conversing with a good friend, or a sister, the words just flowed out of her so easily, like a puncture in an otherwise sustainable can. They bonded one night over at Alice's house, upstairs in her room while brainstorming ideas. It never really felt like work to her, more like a slumber party, with a close friend or relative. Alice's mom every so often would bring snacks of some sort up for them, while music played quietly in the background coupled with a slight sprinkling of rain outside. Jules has always had friends, but she always seen them as mere acquaintances, as they weren't all too close to begin with, that is until she met Alice. Its strange how two people can be linked so easily when unencumbered by such manifestations of ones own mind. Too many of us are bogged down by self importance that we sometimes forget to open up to those we meet in our day to day life's, as we in turn never fully realize the singularity of our loneliness. Not to say that it is of our own doing, which at times it most certainly is, but some times things just tend to happen for such people, while others for uncertain reasons, struggle throughout life for any type of companionship. Seeing that Daniel has always been the latter, he has always been fascinated by such complex ideals of human intimacy, what makes one so popular while another stands alone in the background. Jules though, has never had any real problems with the likes of friends, or boyfriends for that matter. Always seemed to have someone awaiting at her door for any chance to pounce, like lions in the wilds of Africa.
  "So guess who I ran into the other day?" Says Alice.
"Yeah who is that?"
"Eliza, you remember her."
"Yeah the last time we saw her was at Brian's party awhile back. She got really drunk an started to gyrate all over Daniel, an every other guy at the party, a nice girl, horrible when drinking though."
"Yeah well she said that she is now living over in Salmon arm, an that her an a bunch of old friends are getting together in a week or so, a kind of reunion I guess. Asked if we wanted to come along."
"I am not sure I want to go through that again."
"It will be fine, she did apologize for that, an think of all the old friends we will see."
"I am not sure."
"Oh come on! It will be fun, get your mind off of things."
"I guess it would be nice to let loose a bit."
"There you go, an besides, you wont have to worry about her gyrating all over Daniel." She smirks, as Jules looks over in sarcastic contempt.
"I am sorry, too soon." She laughs.