The florescent lights rain down upon the tiled floors, giving the store an off putting glow. While the shelves that seem to crumble upon a single touch have a faded lacquered sheen to them. Being one of the few grocers in the immediate area, one does not tend to complain to much, as the other more corporate ones a bit farther out have prices that seem to cater to a whole other demographic of customers. Its about 12 o'clock in the afternoon, an Jules an her mom roam the aisles in search of something to make for tonight. Its been about a week since Jules an Daniel last talked, an even now she can't help but hope that things will work out between them, even though she is not quite sure how exactly to go about making such things happen. If only he could see things from her eyes, from her perspective, than an only than could Daniel understand her current plight, why she did what she did. But how to go about achieving that is a mystery unto itself, one that Jules is unable to solve. Jules keeps going through the events of that uncertain night, systematically breaking it up piece by piece, eventually putting it all back together like a puzzle, in the hopes of understanding what exactly happened, an why she did what she did. How is she supposed to make him understand if she doesn't understand herself. Every moment away from him now seems to be a test of her will, of her patience, as she never fully understood how much she loved him until she closed that door on that fateful day, like the crashing of waves on an empty beach whenever the tides come in.
"Honey, is everything okay, you've been awfully quiet?"
"Yeah, everything is fine."
"You're not still thinking of Daniel are you, you need to give these things time."
"I know, its just i wish I would have realized earlier, you know, before I was such an idiot."
"Oh Jules! Your not an idiot, you made a mistake. Everyone does, its not the worst thing to realize you aren't perfect you
know."
I know, to bad Daniel doesn't see things the same way."
"He will, he will, these things just take time, that's all, just time."
"Yeah I guess so, I guess so."
"So than." She says." Onto bigger an better things, what do you want tonight? Spaghetti or chicken?"
"Spaghetti sounds good actually, haven't had it in a while."
"Than spaghetti it is my dear, spaghetti it is."
Outside the rain has begun to fall with an intemperate ferocity. An as they drive back home, Jules watches the world go by, the trees slowly fading away into rooftops, an houses that seemed to pop up like daisies at the start of spring. She couldn't remember when the last time it rained like this, like the coming flood on the bows of Noah's Ark. Its seems endless, all encompassing, like the rising tides slowly washing up an over the beach. She slightly smirks at all the people running for cover at every drop, as if acidic. As though the mere thought of rain induces a trance of chaos into the minds of the people. Its a beautiful site, watching the rain fall, it seems to purge the city streets from all that once remained. Jules has always felt as though it had a calming effect, like the sounds of white noise one listens to to help get asleep. Which in turn makes her realize that things aren't so bad as they may seem, that any problem that may arise has at most, a most probable fix, an most seemingly an easy one at that. One must always wonder why people have such an adverse effect upon rain, as though the gods pour down their wrath unto the land, or an angry parent raising its hands onto an unsuspecting child. Even the thunder an lightning, that has found its way onto the ash colored clouds, brings with it such an unforgiving fright. One that is unseen, unheard, unknowing. But man has always been afraid of what they cannot control, always struggled towards the effects of nature, maybe that is why they are so effective at destroying it.
Later that day, while her mom stands about the kitchen preparing dinner, Jules sits upstairs by her bedroom window, that looks over that grass an the ever creeping river that only stands to get ever closer to the edge of its banks. Trying to keep her mind off of such current ordeals, has proven more difficult than previously thought, as there is no break in the conversation to bring up other talking points. Even the book in her hands, which would normally bring about such other ideas, proves no condolence at this time. The more that she ends up crawling over such things, the more she realizes that it is not just the mere fact that it is over, but as well the way she decided to end it. Her actions appeared to be beyond her very reach, as if it was somehow out of her control. As well as the thunder, that gives the steady stream of rain a bass like sound, like the pounding drums of such yearly festivities, Jules can begin to hear a faint ringing that seems to emanate from downstairs in the living room. She waits eagerly, listening in to see if her mom would answer, but after about three or four rings she hurries downstairs to pick it up herself.
"Hello! This is Jules." She answers.
"Jules! Its me, Alice, I was just wondering if you wanted to get together tomorrow, supposed to be a beautiful day."
"Yea sure, did you have anything in mind."
"Well I was wondering if you wanted to climb the chief, haven't done it for awhile, thought you might be up for it."
"The chief huh! Yeah.. sounds fun, I am up for that."
"Well I will come over around ten than if that's alright?"
"No that's perfect, see you than."
Jules an Daniel have been together for quite some time, despite there age. But things between them have started to break down, like an old rusted car sitting out in the rain. The honeymoon was over, an that new car smell of their relationship has begun to fade. But since neither of them have ever been in a true relationship before, either was sure on how exactly to proceed. The one thing she realized from this experience, was the fact that no matter how perfect two people may be for each other, sooner or later cracks begin to form, an if you don't fix them in a timely manner, the whole house will eventually come down. Its like the pictures you see of gas clusters an nebula's, from afar they are near perfect forms of appearance an design, but the closer you get the more they fade, an once inside they tend to disappear completely. Such was her relationship, now that it is gone, she understands exactly what needed to be done, but as it was, she was all but oblivious to those facts.
At the base of the mountain lies a small hollowed out area covered in gravel, with only a handful of cars variegated throughout. You can still see the effects of last nights rain, as small puddles have formed in the most unsuitable of spots. Which as well give the trees an oncoming grass a gloss like sheen to it all. The sky is fairly clear, with a few clouds still hanging around from last nights fall, like a handful of people refusing to leave the party after everyone went home. An most probable, from yesterdays rain, the trail up is mostly clear of the usual crowds that emanate from every corner of the forest, as though sprouting up like the very brush that covers the floor. The way up is basically a slight clearing rather than an actual trail, a few signs throughout show the way, which in turn are they themselves covered over in a variety of bushes, branches an other such timid wildlife. About halfway up a huge rock juts out of the ground like a disembodied hand reaching out for life. On one side of the rock lays a small cave, or more clearly a kind of cubbyhole that could possible contain two or more people if that. Usually when Jules an Alice make their way up they find a group huddled inside, with a unlucky few possibly standing outside to bear the elements. But seeing that the day is quite clear there are no people to know of, no huddled masses, or few out of breath taking a slight rest to gain composure.
Jules an Alice have been friends for quite some time, as they met up in middle school when they were young, it was one of those chance meetings that happen every so often, as every time Jules turned around it seemed as though Alice was right there in the mix of things, not in a creepy way, just the fact that she seemed to stand out from all others. They finally exchanged words in history class, with an assignment that had them corrugated into groups of two. An it just so happened that they were the last two to be put together. Jules remembers quite vividly the fact that it was as if she was conversing with a good friend, or a sister, the words just flowed out of her so easily, like a puncture in an otherwise sustainable can. They bonded one night over at Alice's house, upstairs in her room while brainstorming ideas. It never really felt like work to her, more like a slumber party, with a close friend or relative. Alice's mom every so often would bring snacks of some sort up for them, while music played quietly in the background coupled with a slight sprinkling of rain outside. Jules has always had friends, but she always seen them as mere acquaintances, as they weren't all too close to begin with, that is until she met Alice. Its strange how two people can be linked so easily when unencumbered by such manifestations of ones own mind. Too many of us are bogged down by self importance that we sometimes forget to open up to those we meet in our day to day life's, as we in turn never fully realize the singularity of our loneliness. Not to say that it is of our own doing, which at times it most certainly is, but some times things just tend to happen for such people, while others for uncertain reasons, struggle throughout life for any type of companionship. Seeing that Daniel has always been the latter, he has always been fascinated by such complex ideals of human intimacy, what makes one so popular while another stands alone in the background. Jules though, has never had any real problems with the likes of friends, or boyfriends for that matter. Always seemed to have someone awaiting at her door for any chance to pounce, like lions in the wilds of Africa.
"So guess who I ran into the other day?" Says Alice.
"Yeah who is that?"
"Eliza, you remember her."
"Yeah the last time we saw her was at Brian's party awhile back. She got really drunk an started to gyrate all over Daniel, an every other guy at the party, a nice girl, horrible when drinking though."
"Yeah well she said that she is now living over in Salmon arm, an that her an a bunch of old friends are getting together in a week or so, a kind of reunion I guess. Asked if we wanted to come along."
"I am not sure I want to go through that again."
"It will be fine, she did apologize for that, an think of all the old friends we will see."
"I am not sure."
"Oh come on! It will be fun, get your mind off of things."
"I guess it would be nice to let loose a bit."
"There you go, an besides, you wont have to worry about her gyrating all over Daniel." She smirks, as Jules looks over in sarcastic contempt.
"I am sorry, too soon." She laughs.
No comments:
Post a Comment