Tuesday, October 20, 2009

In a beautiful lonileness of a hazy dream.

outside the ice is retreating, floating back in the air from whinst it came. and the sky is a darkish grey. the cold emanates my bones and breaks the spirits, but the day has just begun.
my tiny apartment seems to slowly swallow me whole. and i sit on my bed. fully dressed, with my grey suit on. staring at the cracks in the wall. awaiting for the time to get up and go. today is the day of the first day on the job. doing papers and paperwork, watching the people through the windows pass by on there constant attempt at non instability. and just now from thinking about it i am feeling tired. last night was a dismal dream, dreaming of being able to sleep.
and as the clock rings out , calling me to my feet. i slowy get up and differentiate myself from the chair. and so i put my gloves on, open the door, and let in another day. as i walk down the street i find the people are huddled against themselves. their breathe frozen in mid air just out in front of them. and the clouds scatter the sky like a broken windshield. the buildings tower overhead like desolate mountains. and the wind spins through the city freezing everything to the bone.
the city seems quite when in the grips of death. the cars are glazed over skeletal remains. and strange creatures huddle in not wanting to come out. and its wierd how the city works. small villages withen greater cities. where on your street you know most everyone. and i cant help but say hello to the few and far between. and my nerves are racking up like mountains. as the view from here is desolate and lonely.
i have never been the one to make friends, never knew quite how. like some great barrier surrounds me. blocked off from the world. never has stopped me from trying though.
and now its the city that turns a subtle grey, as the fog moves in masking the city in a dull glaze. and everything seems to appear out of nowhere. showing there face shortly while in the midst of fading away. now that i think about it. it almost seems like the ingrediant of life, that everyone will eventually someday leave you.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

everywhere i look i find myself staring back

everything is cold in the dead of night, people are wandering the dark corners of the city. afraid to show there faces. the streets put on a different face in the blanket of darkness. the windows are watching you and the buildings are hiding in plain sight. and so i have not too far yet. my eyes scan the far reaches of the earth. penetrating the darkness with closed eyes. and i dont know what might happen, and i dont know how i might fall. and do i see a dark figure by my side. do i see a ghost. so now i keep on walking , just a little faster. and the door up ahead is reaching out for me. but with a quite stint of madness. i find myself pulling open, and fallen through.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009


the streets are lighted up like street lights. and the buildings are hollow. the side walks are flooded with trees. and the air is dense. all the people walk tirelessly throughout the city. but my days are long. and have been. for what seems like years.

for my days have ended for so many years now. my eyes are black and my mind is fogged up with unnessecary incarnations of death. and now seems like a good time to go. for the clouds are parting. and the sun is on its way.
the endless cataclysm of old ideas...

I am your broken heart.... and all i want to do is breathe. i am my own guilty pleasure... cause all i want is your disease. the nights crackle, and the days sing... like trees.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

How to show yourself the door.

Five days, in the dead of night.
Where the laughter comes with
Streaks of fight.

Where the up before dawn
Is here but still gone
And the whispering whine
Is time after time.

When at home, Oh glory,
How the clocks melt down,
And the stench of strain
Is a everyday thing
So why oh why cant i
Grow wings…. Or fall down
Blind, so my eyes wont sting.

So off to the ever, and off to the
Green, to climb that sky,
To the burnaway king.

My wings have fallen, my wings have burned...

my wings have fallen, my wings have burned. and the city has eyes, and the buildings migrate like sheep. the streets are lonely, the people.... confused. I sit in the diners and coffee shops, watching the people converse.......... like trees. as the leaves slowly change color, and my cigerette burns. I walk amongst this forest as the trees disperse.
and my mechanical hearts mechanical, and my legs hurt. and the ghosts seem to mumble to each other in broken verse. as my eyes water, but my soul burns.
my heart defect is that of an unknown man....................... Current mood: drained

my heart defect is that of an unknown man. but i am beautiful. and i watch as the angels fly by in a colorful desolation. and i sit alone. the leaves have fallen, and the days are strong. i listen to my heart beat as i pullover and walk to the nearest cafe. and order a coffee, and head out the patio. it seems like the usual faces, haunting every city street, while weaving in and out of the autumn breeze. an the leaves have fallen. i find the only place i can write is road side diners and coffee shops. and the road is my mistress, and the cars not clean. but todays an off day, actually, i havent written anything in weeks. the death of myself...... so i sit here, pen in hand. waiting for the rebirth. sitting back in the chair, smoking a cigerette, on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere...... all surrounded by trees. watching the forest like its watching me. but the people are distant and the grounds clean. and i used to be a city, i used to be the sea. living in the middle of nowhere, where the buildings breed. i remember the morning ritual of the early rise, and the trying to build steam. the fast paced world of a work a holic was a societies dream. and a broken mans disease.
I dug you up to keep you company.

I cleaned the house this morning. to get my mind off of you. the dust has apparently taken a hold of the house, and the walls have coughed up their fair share of hairballs. I haven't been out for days. and the shower has taken its leave. but your eyes fit nicely in the back of my head. while the creatures are all watching my every move. all the furniture looks at me like i am a stranger. as i stand in the middle of the room, sweeping up my fallen heart from the floor. but i can't seem to clean the blood stained blood as the weeks have all but disappeared .
and sitting beside the kitchen window i watch the rain. drunk, with the likes of you. as your smile lights the way through the trees, the great plains suddenlly appear, crackling below my feet. and the monsters have all but vanished. and you sit there watching all the animals do battle against themselves, as the sun falls asleep, just beyond the mountains, just below the sea