Friday, November 23, 2012

.... and the sounds are dull

I don't feel right,
the cars are screaming//
and the sound is dull.

your nights are cold.
and creep up,
like death..

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

The flag have fallen beneath a blanket of fog.

    The flag has fallen beneath a blanket of fog. And the rain peters down from the overlaying clouds." So, how about it? What do you think?". She says this with a smirk, that underlies the fact she knows what I think i want." I can't, you know this. I have to deal with outside sources, if that's what you want to call it". Frowning, she looks off into the distance to the passing cars. "Well as I said before, she doesn't have to know".  Water runs down the windshields in a chaotic dance, as the wipers are sounding as if someone is dragging there fingernails across a chalkboard. "That doesn't matter, 'cause I will". 
   I am driving her home, home from work. Its just after 11 o'clock and the streetlights make the roads sparkle like some art house road movie. The time now passes in silence, until I pull up in front of her house, an she says." Are you gonna be okay?". I awkwardly smile, trying to figure ways to get out of this conversation i know is coming." Yeah, I will be fine". " Okay than, if you do say so".
    I now notice her arm reaching over clutching my leg, attempting to gently caress. To what means, I do not know. As I know it wont do any good to change my mind." I think I will be fine, thanks".  She still sits there though, with a half smirk, and hand upon my leg. As intermediate thoughts pass through my head. Her hand is getting ever higher upon my thigh, and for a split moment I am powerless to do anything as the blood rushes to other more unmentionable places. "I know you want it, don't you? Just one night, of fun. Than we never have to speak of it again. You know, if that's what you want?". My mind runs through the possibility of multiple paths, like some quantum computer. Doing different things at the same time. Although each and every one ends up ending basically the same. Not good, one way or the other.
    Grabbing her hand I hold it there for a second( as its hard to move, even if its the right thing to do) and eventually do move it after a couple. "I am not that guy, even if I, or you, or anyone really, wants me to be. And I do want to be that guy....Sorry, but this can't happen, not now anyway". She takes her hand away, and stares off towards her house, looking a Tad bit disappointed. "Well, I am sorry to hear that, but anyways, I will be here if u need me. Just don't make me wait too long."
    I watch as she walks out an slowly up the driveway,  eventually disappearing through her front door. I can't help but have a little regret to what just happened. A big part of me wanted to go through that door with her. But in the end, as I have said, would have just complicated things. Further than I wanted them to be(As its already pretty out there already). And as I drive home to an empty house, my mind is still back there, waiting outside, wanting to go in.

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Story part 3 ( breaking down/stop making so much sense/thee end)

   Back at home, every creak, crack and noise that emanates is suddenly an apparition of sorts. But after all the discussions I can't help but figure there got to be another solution to all this. And the television seems lonely now, as day in and out I sit here on the couch with no one else but me. But that's a whole other story, for another day. As I think I have said enough already.
   Sitting here on the couch, the fear of the unknown has begun to bubble upwards. As I have this funny feeling that I am being watched. I turn my head back towards the stairs. An i can hear this somewhat Humm, that appears to resonate from up on the second floor. I turn, look up and... there, there she is. The woman I saw before. She has on this long white dress, the kind you see  in all the Hollywood scary movies. And its as if she is floating, drifting backwards, motioning me to follow. She moves upstairs, as I follow in silence, and confusion. After a short walk she turns toward my bedroom, and disappears.
   Standing there looking in circles, i pause, not quite sure what to do. Its at that point I hear a scream, coming from my room. I run inside and its all different. Decorated as if its Marty Mcflys moms room in the 1950's. The walls are what appears to be a faded pink, and everything has this polished almost fake look to it. There's a woman laid out on the bed, as the blood drips down and stains the bright blue covers that are carefully spread over the bed. And more than likely, she is already dead. I creep up slowly towards her, as if not to make a sound. And as I lean over to see who it is, her arm grabs mine and I jump back in a frenzied panic shaking uncontrollably to shake lose. Eventually breaking free i fall to floor and subsequently jump up, realizing... that I fell asleep, and hopefully, it was just a dream. I am still downstairs on the couch, the TVs a mess of white noise, and its past midnight now. Going into the kitchen to get a glass of water, I find my hands shaking. The dream was so vivid, I actually felt her hands upon me. 
    I put the glass back on the counter, rubbing my hand where she grabbed me. What I see though, I must say, frightens me to the very core. Blood! Not a lot of it, but it shouldn't be there to begin with. I check my arms and body for cuts and such, but there's nothing to be found. I find myself now at the kitchen table, not quite sure how I ended up there. For I am dazed, and out of sorts. I don't know what to believe anymore. I sit there for what's got to be about fifteen minutes, before I snap out of it. Going to the sink to wash my hands, to wash the blood off. But its not there anymore, and shows no signs of it ever being to begin with.  This is now getting ever weirder, passing through and into the haze of the not normal. So I stand there, like a bear in a cage you see at the zoo, that doesn't seem to be acting accordingly to what your used to. After a insufficient amount of time does pass, I try to shake it off as mere over tiredness. Its almost 1:30 now, so I go upstairs and get into bed. I end up doing the same thing kids do when they just watched a scary movie. Somehow believing to be safe by being within the comforts of the bed, trying not to open my eyes when its dark out.
   The morning comes in a slow spurt, like trying to get your sputtering car to the mechanics before it completely breaks down. Kind of how I felt last night, seeing I don't think I slept to much. This whole thing has gotten into my head. Making me believe things I normally wouldn't. I guess everyone can be fearful of the things they do not understand.
   I am up to about four cups of coffee now. Waking up, sitting with cup of coffee in hand, nothing better as far as I am concerned. It must just be the fear that pushes me, and nothing else. After a quick run to the fridge, finding nothing to eat, I figure its about time to do a bit of shopping. Maybe the fresh air will do me some good. Out on the empty streets the rain falls, coming down to earth in a slow slumbering procession. I have this old vintage rain jacket that I put on. One of those multi colored ones straight out of Woodstock, or that 70's show. There's a little place just up the hill, independently owned most likely, as its one of the few we have. Barney's I do believe its called.
  Inside the floors have a yellowish sickly hue, and all the tills look fairly run down, old and in need of repair. The people are friendly though, greeting me as I walk in. The isles are all small and crowded with no signs directing me to generalized ideas of what they might contain. I pick up a few things, produce, bread, sandwich meat and whatnot. Down one of the isles at the very end I can see the cooler in which they keep the dairy. A lady stands there partially blocking the view. She is dressed in this long off white wool jacket, with black pants and straight dark black hair.  I feel myself being somewhat drawn to her, almost as if I seen her before. I start heading down the isle, towards this woman, as I need milk and eggs anyhow. When halfway there she suddenly turns to me and smiles. Its her, the woman I seen in my dreams, how could this be possible. It can't, i don't.. i don't think. And as soon as I see her, she walks off, down to the right. I run down to catch her to find out who she is. But she is already gone, and nowhere to be seen. I walk the store trying to find her, although knowing that its pointless. I soon give up and head on my way.
   The rain still falls when I get outside. With many small streams making there way downward, like a flock of birds heading home for the winter. I can see all the people
With there umbrellas pass by as if there all floating independently from the ones that hold them. What a strange sight if I have ever seen one. Off in the distance though to the left, on the intersection, I see the woman once more. She stands there, up against the building, watching me.  Quickly turning the corner she has once again disappeared. Its almost as if she is taunting me, wanting me to follow. It suddenly appears to me that she is heading in the direction of my house. She would show herself for a second, than suddenly disappear. Which in turn wets my curiosity to follow. I figure, what the hell, I am wanting to go home anyways.  We are just a block or two from my house now, and I haven't seen her for a few minutes. Where was she leading me?, if she was actually doing so at all.
    I can see the house in the distance now. It appears as though the lights may be on in the living room. I don't remember leaving them on. The closer I get though, the more noticeable it gets. There is a flicker now emanating from the living room, but I don't think its my lights. My neighbor, the odd one, stands on his front lawn waving at me. As I pass him, still not sure what the strange light is, he says. "Hey neighbor, I knocked on your door earlier, to see if you wanted to come to our barbecue tonight. Everyone will be there. But as your lights aren't on, I figured you wouldn't be home". That's strange, does he not see the light, how could he possibly miss it. I decide not to say anything though, on the off chance of sounding crazy. Seeing all that has happened. "Oh, a barbecue huh, sure sounds fun. What time, want me to bring anything?". My mind is partially on this little puzzle. I am not sure how to approach this, But as I said before, its probably best not to. "Bring anything, don't be silly. The only thing you need to bring is yourself". As I am about to leave, I quickly say." Thanks for the invite, I guess I will see you there". I nod and say goodbye, and as I am about ten or so feet out I hear him calling." Wait! I didn't tell you what time, around six-six thirty". I turn around and wave, and walk home, to go see what's really on my mind.
   The flickering light still spills out of my living room window. Inside I run over to see what it is, but nothing. No light, no flame or flicker of any kind. Strange, I must say. I have had about enough of this. As far as I can tell this is never ending, and something needs to be done. Suddenly at that I can feel a immediate heat source upon my back. I turn around and the kitchen is on fire, at least somewhat at least. I run over to the closet by the front door and grab the fire extinguisher. I stand there paused and silent in shock. The fire has started crawling up the walls, blanketing every it comes in contact with, and consuming it. I start spraying a path on the kitchen floor, the walls and so forth. After a unknown amount of time passes, I have it (allegedly anyways) under control. Sitting there, watching the remnants of the fire extinguisher clings to the walls. I spot something strange on the kitchen counter, next to the fridge. No burn marks of any kind. I begin to wipe the walls from varying spots to see if anything else is the same. But nothing is apparent. Not really something you could miss. I go sit in the living room on the couch, to figure out what to do. I still have a couple hours till the barbecue, so I am not in any real hurry. Although I am finding it increasingly difficult To stay here. I am now beginning to think that the redheaded lady might be right, I wouldn't say that its quite haunted, but almost as if something is affecting me. Making me see things that may or may not be there. In all my experiences though, the evidence does speak for itself.
   I decide to do some research over the Internet( and forget the cleaning till later). Some one's gotta know something that could help me. Its hard to believe anything on these things though, as anyone can make some makeshift site and say whatever the fuck they want. So you really have to be careful. I do find this one site that shows promise. Apparently there this fairly large group with some paranormal scientists. Kinda like ghost hunters I guess. It says sometimes the specters or ghosts(whichever you like to call them) are benevolent,  and its more of a showcase of the pain and suffering that went on, almost as if they need to tell people what actually happened before they pass over. This, of course, is all conjecture. But they take these findings from the many cases they studied throughout the years. There's a whole plethora of info on here actually, most of which does not pertain to my situation.
    I look at the clock and its almost time to go. After everything that I read, and all the stuff I have seen. I think I finally understand(although i might just be delusional).  I now believe i know what needs to be done. To help the ones that have been regretfully lost. An so as I walk next door, to meet the people of this quiet little town. I can feel the heat gently push against my backside, cutting through the night like the glowing eyes of some hidden creature.


                                                      END

Saturday, November 03, 2012

Meaningless(alternate.. take 2)

Closed doors
And open drawers

Kitchen sinks
And the
Over-bored

An empty house

With the
Not,
an no more

But once again
Withthewhat
Andwhat'sin,
A how
About

W\ a mindless grin

From a sometimes after
To a sometimes when